The Best Husband in the World

**WARNING** I've got a lot on my mind today and preemptively apologize for my long winded rambling!

Although I have a terrible way of showing it sometimes, I truly feel as though I have the best husband in the whole world!

I am saddened to say, however, that rarely a day goes by that I do not vent various frustrations to him...and many times I inadvertently find myself blaming him or using him as my punching bag. He is amazing and absorbs my "blows" like a champ. Allowing my nagging and sometimes anal annoyances to simply go in one ear and out the other. He has a tremendous amount of patience, understanding and optimism. He balances me out SOO well. He is able to bring me back down to reality and put things back into a healthy/productive perspective. Especially on days when my girls (mainly my 3&1/2 yr old angel as of late) hang on my last nerve and often times bring me to tears. I also find myself all to often scared and frustrated with many of the challenges, obstacles & unknowns that Macy's Down Syndrome diagnosis is bringing into our lives. So many times, it is me overreacting or worrying about small things that I simply so not need to be thinking about just yet. Wondering...Are we doing enough? Are we doing whats right? He has a refreshing way of calming my nerves and putting my fears to rest. He has a favorite quote that goes something like this "We have a lot to think about, but nothing to worry about". So very true. I think about and LIVE this quote daily.
Sadly, I also find myself, most often, complaining to him about his busy work schedule. His job as a CPA, understandably, demands a lot of his time. He travels and works late a lot of the time. I say "a lot" of the time and not "ALL" of the time, because he does thankfully have seasons that are not as busy as others. I always feel so terrible when I give him a hard time about not being home more to help, etc...when of course, I KNOW, he would much rather be home dealing with our "family stuff", rather than in the office, dealing with "Accounting stuff". it is not fair for me to give him as hard of a time as I do in this regard. He makes it VERY clear that he puts his family first. Before anything else, especially his career. I do, however, deeply respect him for his amazing work ethic. I very much appreciate the fact that he enjoys and is dedicated to his career and is loyal to his employer. Plus, the firm he works for (which by the way is VERY LUCKY to have him) is great and has proven, over and over again to be a very family friendly company. As a result, he is motivated to get out of bed each morning, go into the office and, for lack of better words, bring home the bacon. Allowing me the opportunity to stay home and care for our baby girls during this "phase" of our life journey. I am so thankful to be able to truly enjoy "mommy-hood" the way God and my heart are telling me to enjoy it, at least for now.

I've got to say that I am at least thankful for the fact that when he is home, he is able to be TRULY home. As difficult as it may be with technological advancements these days, he is able to "turn his work OFF". I am so glad he is such an amazing husband and father and sincerely enjoys helping out around the house, spending time with girls and chipping in to do various chores, etc...I also appreciate that he doesn't seem to mind when not all chores are done. He many times comes home to laundry mountains, Eiffel Towers of dishes piled up in the sink, a maze of toys spread all across the main floor family rooms, unmade beds and non-prepared dinners. Luckily for me, he doesn't seem to mind one bit. It bothers me WAY more than it bothers him. He is genuinely happy and full-filled simply coming home to smiles on his beautiful ladies faces.

 He just wants us to be happy & content. Isn't that what we should all strive for? I think the world would be a better place if more people could simply be satisfied with making an honest living, being happy & content with where they are in the world.

Adjusting to my new gig as Stay At Home mom has been, to say the least, overwhemlming and trying at times. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed and so VERY thankful for this incredible opportunity. I cherish each and every new day.

My heart, being that it changed so much after learning of Macy's Down Diagnosis, would not be fullfilled missing out on each of these new milestones both of my girls are going through right now. They are not going to be my babies forever, so I very much KNOW in my heart of hearts that THIS, right here at home, is where I NEED to be. Right now anyway.
I do not feel as though I "quit on my career". I feel as though I am simply "taking a break from my career." I'll go back someday. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week or next year...but someday. For sure.
Not a single day goes by, that I do not think about my previous career in the Advertising industry. I miss my co-workers, clients, media partners and my private office at SKAR Advertising. An office with a DOOR, of which I could CLOSE when I felt overwhelmed and did not want to be disturbed (there is no "closing of doors" as CFO of Harnisch, Inc.) I miss my title of YOUNG PROFESSIONAL. I was proud to hold the title of "working mother". I miss creative brainstorming sessions with fellow Skarfaces. I miss fancy media events and free media lunches at yummy restaurants. I miss helping my clients trouble-shoot and solve marketing problems - big, small, tedious and fun. I miss being around & living vicariously through the "creatives" at SKAR. I miss my "Cafe 111" lunch crew (Duman brothers, Jenn, Carpenter & myself - a few other would join in every so often) I miss the reward of a "job well-done" pat on the back by teammates & partners at the agency. I miss having an "excuse" to watch television (hey it was my JOB as a media buyer to stay up on all current trends in the media world). I miss business trips - especially the ones of which flew me away on a jet.
My mind has been filled these last few weeks about the possibility of entering back into the work force. Am I ready? Maybe. Am I 100% ready? NO! This is hard.
The other day I received a package in the mail that brought a HUGE smile to my face and a large justification that THIS IS where I NEED to be right now. And it just proves more and more that my loving husband supports me in my decision.

Remember a few months back when Joe dedicated a song to me on a National Radio broadcast? Read Joe's dedication note here He requested that Bob Kingsley play "Front Porch Looking in" in honor of me. :-)
Below is the actual recording as the radio announcer read Joe's very touching letter on air.  I got it in the mail!   Listening to it again sent chills down my spine and shot warmth up to my heart  :-)
Along with the recording also came a free 6 month subscription to NetFlix. Sweet, can't wait to give it a try! :-)  THANKS BABE!!

So, for now I will try as best I can to suck it up. Stop complaining about stupid things and savor each and every beautiful moment as they happen. Even if many of these moments happen to encompass poopy diapers (and potty-training pants), ridiculous temper tantrums, constant disagreements and unfair negotiations with irrational 3 year olds-it's always a lose-lose situation (why is she screaming at me? Why does she hit me all the time? What did I do to deserve this treatment)?. Add to that several therapy appointments for my "chromosomally enhanced" baby and new budget cuts now that we are still adjusting to being a single-income household. Through all this - I'll keep my chin-up and remember...IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT IN THE END.

I'm sorry for the pity-party type rambling, but, now that it's off my chest, I really do feel better. Thanks for listening! :-)